BLOG UPDATE: MARCH THROUGH MAY 2019
I won't mince words: these two months have been rough in the creative department, and for a while, I thought about starting this blog over from scratch. Just start fresh in a new domain, and try again. But starting in a new place wouldn't fix the underlying issue of inconsistent posting or the ability to put into paper or blog what I have in mind. But I needed a hard reset after the last three months of no posting, no creating for myself and my outlets. Is this a candid and unflattering post about my lack of productivity? Yes. Is it a venting and ranting post? Absolutely. But is it coming from an honest place that someone could read and appreciate? I sure hope so.
March 2019
This was the Bar Exam month, and it might as well be the month that drained every creative flow I had. It was the Crunch Month, as there were other deadlines back at work. It was a marathon of getting as much done before I disappeared for a full week. Even though it was my second round at the Bar Exam, it didn't get any easier. In fact, I had to juggle the exam with the upcoming 2019 tax season along with a study course over the weekend. Needless to say, any proper motivations aside from work and study were sidelined hard. So much happened that I'm pretty sure I had things fall on the wayside including my health, both physical and mental. Everything was about those two days, and pretty much nothing else.
April 2019
Out of one marathon to another, April 2019 was the due month for many things: income tax filings, quarterly filings, annual reports, and so much more. April was the month that I felt my schedule become less of a planned structure and more a game of catch-up. It was a very intense month in which I felt things slip through the cracks. Even my health suffered a fair bit as things happened and I barely had time to write them down. I had many starts to write this post, and just never had the energy or the discipline to sit down after two months of intense work without stop.
May 2019
This was the month that I truly realized the scope of what a marathon March and April were. I found myself trying to get into an artistic and writing mood while my hands felt like they were made of lead, my feet of cement, and my brain of mush. I felt emotional over everything and nothing. I hadn't practiced a mindful moment of just sitting down and hearing the room itself. A part of me wanted to be active, while another wanted to be at peace, and the last third wanted to keep going like a rolling ball on limited momentum.
Then my baby sister visited with her cat and for every moment I was able to (and the cat allowed it), I did my best to bond with them. I would talk to Baby Sister and let her vent, while trying my best to make Cat Niece's stay all the more pleasant. These moments of just enjoying myself allowed me to be honest with myself and those I care about. It managed to soften the blow when the bar exam results came back and I hadn't passed.
It's been a roller-coaster, ups and downs but I didn't quit about doing things that weren't work and study. I cannot guarantee a return to form, not while I'm working things out on the other end. I'm also considering creating a proper website for everything under my creativity and my professional side.
I hope this blogpost can be a glimpse into some of the things that have been going on behind the scenes and maybe you can have the comfort in knowing that if you feel overwhelmed, you're not alone.
- SP
source: Bich Tran @ Pexels
March 2019
This was the Bar Exam month, and it might as well be the month that drained every creative flow I had. It was the Crunch Month, as there were other deadlines back at work. It was a marathon of getting as much done before I disappeared for a full week. Even though it was my second round at the Bar Exam, it didn't get any easier. In fact, I had to juggle the exam with the upcoming 2019 tax season along with a study course over the weekend. Needless to say, any proper motivations aside from work and study were sidelined hard. So much happened that I'm pretty sure I had things fall on the wayside including my health, both physical and mental. Everything was about those two days, and pretty much nothing else.
April 2019
Out of one marathon to another, April 2019 was the due month for many things: income tax filings, quarterly filings, annual reports, and so much more. April was the month that I felt my schedule become less of a planned structure and more a game of catch-up. It was a very intense month in which I felt things slip through the cracks. Even my health suffered a fair bit as things happened and I barely had time to write them down. I had many starts to write this post, and just never had the energy or the discipline to sit down after two months of intense work without stop.
May 2019
This was the month that I truly realized the scope of what a marathon March and April were. I found myself trying to get into an artistic and writing mood while my hands felt like they were made of lead, my feet of cement, and my brain of mush. I felt emotional over everything and nothing. I hadn't practiced a mindful moment of just sitting down and hearing the room itself. A part of me wanted to be active, while another wanted to be at peace, and the last third wanted to keep going like a rolling ball on limited momentum.
Then my baby sister visited with her cat and for every moment I was able to (and the cat allowed it), I did my best to bond with them. I would talk to Baby Sister and let her vent, while trying my best to make Cat Niece's stay all the more pleasant. These moments of just enjoying myself allowed me to be honest with myself and those I care about. It managed to soften the blow when the bar exam results came back and I hadn't passed.
It's been a roller-coaster, ups and downs but I didn't quit about doing things that weren't work and study. I cannot guarantee a return to form, not while I'm working things out on the other end. I'm also considering creating a proper website for everything under my creativity and my professional side.
I hope this blogpost can be a glimpse into some of the things that have been going on behind the scenes and maybe you can have the comfort in knowing that if you feel overwhelmed, you're not alone.
- SP
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